Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
The Myth of Echo and Narcissus by Elvin Calimag
Who are Echo and Narcissus?.....find out more here
Are you a victim of Narcissism?
Maybe you second guess yourself or look to another to make decisions.
Do you distrust people?
Perhaps you lack confidence and feel inadequate around others.
Are you feeling a lack of control in your life?
Maybe you feel confused, have low mood, anger, fear and anxiety.
These are just a few of the symptoms that could form narcissist victim syndrome due to exposure to a narcissistic personality.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) in a nutshell is usually developed from an abandonment in childhood. This is due to a lack of basic love and acknowledgement of the authentic self. Similarly, Echoism or the victims of narcissism, feel a sense of abandonment also. Each manage these feelings differently by either creating a false self (NPD) or becoming codependent (gaining an understanding of self from others). This is essentially why these personalities are magnetised together; they each have something the other desires.
'Narcissists' predominantly lack empathy and the ability to connect in an authentic manner, therefore they create a false self that is grandiose and self absorbed. They also live within fantasies of power, beauty, ideal love and admiration. They avoid true self at all costs because they feel too vulnerable. They require to 'feed' from others in order to gain 'supply' of kindness, care, empathy and acknowledgement......all of which was not provided in childhood to form acceptance of their authentic self. Victims of narcissism are often the complete opposite and have an abundance of empathy, kindness, care and compassion. Therefore, they are a perfect feeding ground for the narcissist and supply is abundant. However, this can be excurciatingly painful for the victim as the relationship can never develop a genuine depth of emotion required from a false person. When the victim tries to gain this connection, the narcissist uses various tactics to control their victim in order to maintain supply.
Those who wish to heal from the effects of Narcissism firstly need validation of their experience, as often the confusion and fear that has developed over time formed a diminished sense of self worth; therefore, the person often feels they are the entire problem within the relationship and often take full responsibility for any misdemeanour.
How can counselling help me to heal?
Counselling will begin with identifying narcissism from your subjective perspective. We can explore narcissistic personality disorder and how you have experienced this within your life and this can help gain validation of your experiences over time.
We will begin to look at things like:
NPD Traits, behaviours and tactics such as empathy, covert and overt traits, gaslighting, projection, rage, victim playing, stonewalling, triangulation, love bombing, emotional devaluation, hoovering, shaming, smear campaigning, flying monkeys, no responsibility, isolation and golden/scapegoat child.
Echoist traits and behaviours such as low self esteem, codependency, trauma bonding, rescuing and fixing others and taking full responsibility for others emotions
The idolise, seduce, devalue and discard process
We will also explore the ways in which to heal, such as:
Setting clear boundaries
Understanding your values and beliefs
Self esteem and confidence building
negative to positive self talk